The Dawn Of Phantom War
by The Phantom 616
Summary: How it all started. Based on the Game "Deus Ex".
1. Beginnings

6/6/2000 10:26

We open on a casually dressed man selling perfume and jewellery on a street corner. A crowd has gathered, attracted by the alarming volume at which he is advertising his wares.

**Adam Chantry: **See these goods, they never seen daylight, moonlight, Israelite. If you can't see value here today then Fuck ya!. Tell me if I am going too cheap. Not ninety, not eighty, not forty, half that and half that again, that's right, ten pounds. Don't think 'cos it's sealed up it's an empty box. The only man who sells empty boxes is the undertaker.

A well-dressed, zealous character (Sam Foster) appears from behind the crowd waving money. It seems he can't wait to get rid of it.

**Sam Foster: **Bargain, that's a fucking bargain if I ever heard one. Ten pounds you say? I'll have five.

**Adam Chantry: **Certainly sir.(Changing his attention)Excuse me misses, sorry sir, ladies first and all that.(A tourist spectator, rather than a buyer, has been. put on the spot. She fumbles through her bag hastily all too aware of the attention of the crowd, of which she is now the focus. She passes her money like it's contaminated. Others follow suit.)

**Adam Chantry: **Buy 'em, you better buy 'em; they're not stolen, they just never been paid for.

This really stokes the fire. The money can't come fast enough. Just as business reaches its peak there is a call of alarm from the first enthusiastic punter, who seems to be rather more familiar than he first pretended.

**Sam Foster: **Chantry!

Chantry's expression changes dramatically. a third party has just come round the corner the Police!. They're off! Sam and Adam run like they have done this before. They go down an ally Sam jumps some stairs.

(The Phantom voice-over) "Sam Foster" Is capable of running accelerated, communicating quick, devouring double-time, and play cards snappy, but he's unhurried when it comes to identifying the Police. The other individual is "Adam Chantry" this gentleman is a member of _The Dammed_ biker gang and he was primary introduced to Sam after subsequential they came about being entrusted to supervise a heroin prearrangement for me. nevertheless he is a grown-up presently and it is imminent to progress on and he acknowledges it.

11:57 The Phantom arrives at a small garage. He sees Paul Simmons or "The Doctor". Who is talking to Jim the Jew.

**The Doctor: **What are you talking about? I am bloody skinny, pal.

**Jim: **Of course you are. All right,Phant!.

**The Phantom: **Jim the Jew, its absolutely never a pleasure. Paul, what have you been consuming?(Paul examines his midriff and adopts a confused expression).

**The Doctor: **Please, both join me in my orifice.**(**They work their way past a maze of boxes).

**Jim:**(fingering and admiring one of the boxes)How much did you say it was, Doc-Cock?

**The Doctor: **You know how much it is, Jew-Boy.

**Jim: **And that does include the lube?

**The Doctor: **You know it doesn't include the lube.

**Jim:** What else does it come with?

**The Doctor:** It comes with a gold-plated Rolls Royce, as long as you pay for it.

**Jim:** Dunno. Seems expensive.

**The Phantom:** obligingly, this "Seems" to be a complete expenditure of time. That is $900.00 in each and every accommodation you are fortunate enough to locate one in. And you are haggling over $200.00? What school of finance did you attend?

**Jim:** All right all right, keep your Pubes on!(_Peels off notes from his wad) _Here's a ton.

**The Doctor:** You could blow-up a dozen Post-offices with that! And you're haggling over one hundred dollars?

**The Phantom: **Tell me what're you doing when you're not purchasing bombs Jim? Financing revolutions?

**Jim:** 100 dollars is still 100 dollars.

**The Doctor:** Not when the price is 200 it ain't! And certainly not when you've got Liberia's deficit in your pocket.

**Jim: **Fine! (hands over the money)

14:23 The Phantom and The Doctor make their way through a high-class strip club. This is obviously a smart and serious establishment. They stop in front of the man whose very well dressed but is covered in blood he appears to be the owner Meet Ashley Hayden.

**The Doctor: **What have you come as?

**Ashley Hayden: T**hat's the last time I am getting any more Lubricant off you Paul. There was more small hairy things in your lube than there was lube. You should open a butcher's.

**The Doctor:** Well if you order stuff that comes from Kat-Man-Dildo-Du don't be surprised if it picks up a few tourists on route.

**The Phantom:** disregard that, what about the currency?

Ashley pulls out a bag from under where he is sitting.

(The Phantom voice-over) Ashley Hayden take satisfaction to maintain his hands immaculate of any unlawful behaviour nevertheless that's merely because he wanted for mass murder and he's also my cousin.

**The Phantom: (**The Phantom looks in bag) Are you unquestioning that you can afford twenty-five?

**Ashley Hayden: **Well I can afford it as long as your little plan works and I see it again, if that's what you mean. You got the rest from this fat man and Chantry? The Doctor looks on with suspicion.

**The Phantom: **Chantry, the fat man and myself,looks like it's time to make a call to Hatchet Hollis.

**The Doctor: **Who's this fat man, then?

A hard-looking man of about fifty is sat behind a large antique desk. On this desk is a hatchet resting in a block of wood, poised like a judge's hammer. Behind him is a cabinet of fine-looking shotguns and Hatchet with one hand on the phone and the other on a shotgun.

**Hatchet: **You got it all?

**The Phantom: **unquestionably,A hundred grand.

(The Phantom voice-over) You must contemplate it's not untroublesome to take a seat at this table the money involved has to be a hundred grand upwards and there is no shortage of punters. The man who decides if you can play is this man Brian Hollis, or Hatchet-Hollis as some including himself like to call him. When the old bastard is not playing cards he's chasing a thousand debts that ill-fated individuals owe for an array of reasons. Money and sleaze and antique shotguns are all deep and dear in Hollis heart.

**Hatchet: **Well son if you got it, you got it. Now, if you don't mind (The phone is slammed down).

**Hatchet: **What's his mate Sam Foster like, then?

A massive monster of a man sitting opposite Hatchet. Meet Jack Bryan.

(The Phantom voice-over) Jack Bryan Former Irish boxer he now makes his money by drowning people for Hatchet. He not to smart But he needs him, because he is good at making sure debts get settled and jobs get done.

**Jack: **Sam's been shaking the knees of a lot of good players. The guys has a rare ability, he seems to make cards transparent, got bluffing dow**-**

**Hatchet: **(interrupts) All right, all right, so we can say he is good.

**Jack: **Better than good, he is a fucking liability.

**Hatchet: **Where did he get a hundred grand?

**Jack:**He has got some good mates, they have tossed up between them.

**Hatchet: **And that strip club. Ashley, and owns the whole property?

**Jack: **No mortgage, no debts; lock, stock, the sodding lot, don't worry, me and your lad got it under control.

**Hatchet: **Good, you can get this under control now. A glossy brochure displaying a pair of impressive antique shotguns is shoved in Jack's face.

**Hatchet: **It seems Steven Greenberg has run out of money, and these little beauties are up for auction, but I am not paying quarter of a million for 'em, if you know what I mean Bryan. One of my associates has given me an address and the location of these lovelies. Make sure we get everything from inside the gun cabinet. I don't want to know who you use, as long as they are not complete muppets...oh and don't tell them what they're worth.


	2. Nice Tan

6/6/2000 12:47 Meet Karl Gagin, Karl is horrible He's large and intimidating Administering pain is Karl's forte. He's about to the teeing of a golf ball (Wallop) Karl pulls a sadistic and alarmingly pleasurable face.

**Karl: **It's a dog eat dog world, lads, and I got bigger teeth than you.

There is an individual hanging upside down tied up with gaffer tape but otherwise naked. An orange is stuck in the man's mouth. Karl is standing on another man's chest who has a tee stuck between his teeth from where Karl fires golf balls at the other unfortunate figure. The tied-up man is Rajnish. The other is Jason. Rajnish nods his head erratically implying that he has reached a decision.

**Karl: **(to Tom Goacher)I think the man is trying to say something...Perhaps not maybe I should have another swing just to make sure.

Agonised muffled screaming from Rajnish. Jason who has a tee in his mouth shuts his eyes in horror as the golf ball thumps into Rajnish.

**Karl: **Yes, Rajnish, is there something you would like to tell us?

**Rajnish:**(The orange is removed from Rajnish's mouth) In the kitchen, under the flo-

**Jason:**(interrupts) Shut it, you idiot he'll rape us bo-(Karl swings the golf club round Jason's jaw, knocking him unconscious)

**Karl: **You were saying?

**Rajnish: **It's in the kitchen, pull the fishing wire under the seat. Jesus, for god's sake let me down.

**Tom:** I think you want to have a look at this!

Tom returns holding an assortment of drugs and cash. Rajnish starts to scream. Karl picks up a steel for sharpening knives and throws it across the room. Silence follows. Tom grimaces

6/6/2000 16:41 Outside of the Dammed club house The Phantom, Adam Chantry, Paul Simmons and Sam Foster park outside the club house. As they get out they pass Tom Goacher and Melvyn Chapman who have also just parked. They ignore each other,and go to their separate buildings.

17:09 inside of the Dammed club house The Phantom places a pile of money on a table. The rest are eating, The Doctor keeps looking at his plate distastefully.

**Chantry: **Twenty-five from me, Doc, Ash and yourself; a hundred grand to the pound. You don't need to count it.

**The Phantom: **I nevertheless Will.

**Sam: **(eating)So, a reasonable return should be in the region of one hundred and twenty, for twenty-five grand invested. That's going on previous experiences.

**Chantry: **That's going on optimism.

**Paul: **Whatever it's going on, it's still enough to send you on a cooking course.

**Chantry: **You're not funny Paul you're fat and look as though you should be funny, but you're not.

**Paul: **Fat? Who are you calling fat? What are all these fat jokes about?(The light switch above Paul's head lets out a few sparks causing him to cower in a sharp defensive action) Jesus! It's good in here, ain't it! Trains overhead, walls exploding...Why the hell did The Dammed move in?

**Chantry: **Because it's cheap like a budgie.

**The Phantom: **In conjunction with nobody wants to live next door to the people that they live next to

**Paul: **What do you mean?

**Chantry: **He means when they are not picking peanuts out of poop, they're ripping off unfortunate souls of their hard-earned drugs. (Chantry opens the cupboard doors and puts his finger to his lips The noise from next door immediately gets louder)

**Chantry: **Not exactly thick, these walls.

In the building next door. Karl has a small pile of money and pills that he is distributing to his lads.

**Karl: **How many times do I have to explain this to you, Melvyn? You find a job worth doing and you will find your share improving... Now do you have a problem with that?

**The Ball's Tanning Salon** 6/6/2000 19:54

Jack Bryan enters the Salon and approaches and raises one the sunbeds.

**Jack Bryan: **This is one of those high-powered numbers, isn't it?

Brett Smith's eyes widen as Jack slams down the sunbed on top of him as hard as he can.

**Jack Bryan: **Got some bad news for you, Brett.

**Brett Smith: **What the fu-!(Jack slams down the sunbed on top of Brett).

**Jack Bryan: **You mind your language.

**Brett Smith: **Jesus Christ! (Jack repeats the earlier treatment twice more).

**Jack Bryan: **That includes blasphemy as well. Now tell me, Brett...

**Brett Smith: **Tell you what, Jack?

**Jack Bryan: **Tell me Brett, how you can concentrate on improving a lovely tan, and it is a lovely tan by the way, when you have more pressing priorities at hand?

**Brett Smith: **Tell Holli-!(the sunbed comes down again).

**Jack Bryan: **Did I say speak? And it's Mr Hollis to you...Now don't disappoint me and chose your words carefully. You may speak.

**Brett Smith: **I'll have it for Mr Hollis in a few days. I have been busy, and I'm nearly there...No chance of you lifting this sunbed up is there?

**Jack Bryan: **Yeah, all right. (Jack lifts it, then smashes it down again). Now, you want me to lift it up again?

**Brett Smith: **...No...

**Jack Bryan: **Right, well, You can go home in a plastic bag tonight. You owe what you owe and before this tan has faded, you want to have paid.(Jack punches Brett unconscious and turns the time dial up).


	3. Why The Cage?

**Hayden's strip club **6/6/2000 18:34

Ashley Hayden's strip club is an impressive sort of uptown-downtown establishment with pretty girls serving an all male clientèle. Adam Chantry, Paul Simmons and Sam Foster are propped up at the bar looking straight ahead in silence. The silence is broken by Sam.

**Sam: **I am going to the head.(He walks off).

**Chantry: **What you telling us for? The only thing I care about is whether you get your rest in.

**Paul: **you're all heart.

**Chantry: **Listen Docky, you want to make sure that man rests before he plays it's in all our interests.

**Ashley Hayden: **All right lads? How's things? How's it going, Where's that cousin of mine?

Each time a question is asked the lads try to answer but are just left with their mouths open, which remain open as a gorgeous girl walks by the bar.

6/6/2000 19:52

We cut to a small, humid and artificially lit House/Drug Laboratory being cultivated for profit. Someone is smoking a joint and raising his eyebrows at his friend. These two characters are Jay Steel and Dan Coombe

**J****ay: **(coughing)This gear is getting heavier ya know. I got a suspicion we should have been rocket scientists, or Noble Peace Prize winners or something. (the door bell)

**Dan: **Who the hell is that?

Jay opens The door to reveal Shayne Palmer. Under each arm is a large bag of fertilizer.

**Shayne: **Give me a hand Jay, I could break sweat at any second.

A voice comes from behind them. At the top of the stairs stands Dan. He slowly starts to walk down.

**Dan: **Jay, why have we got this cage?

**Jay: **Er,(shrugs) for security.

**Dan: **That's right, security. So tell me, Jay what's the point in having it if we don't fucking use it?

**Jay: **Well, because it's Shayne...and Shayne lives here.

**Dan: **Yes Jay, but you didn't know it was Shayne, did you?

**Shayne: **Chill, Dan, it's me and jay can see it's me...so what's the problem?

**Dan: **The problem is, that Jay and yourself are not the quickest of cats at the best of times, so just do as I say and keep the Fucking cage locked! (the two in the door look slightly pissed off at being shouted at. Dan sighs and looks at what Shayne is carrying).

**Dan: **What are you carrying, Shayne?

**Shayne: **Er, fertilizer.

**Dan: **You went out six hours ago to buy a money counter and you come back carrying two bags of fertilizer!

**Shayne: **We need fertilizer.

**Dan: **We also need a fucking money counter! We have to get the money out by Thursday and I'll be buggered if I am counting it...and if you have to get your sodding fertilizer, couldn't you be a little more subtle?

**Shayne: **What do you mean?

**Dan: **I mean we grow copious amounts of ganja, and you don't look like your average hort-er-fucking-culturalist, that's what I "mean"! (Dan turns on his heels and walks off).

**Seedy Bar **6/6/2000 22:21

Near-naked girls are gyrating against blue poles, which keep distracting these men's attention. Meet Ashley Bobe and Mikey Veasey Their in a meeting with Jack Bryan.

**Bobe: **Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shot?

**Jack: **Oh, you must be the brains then. That's right, guns that fire shot...Make sure you bring everything from inside the gun cabinet. There will be a load of guns, that's all I want. I'll pay you when you deliver. Everything outside the cabinet you can keep, it's yours.

**Mikey: **(sarcastically) Oh, thanks very much. There had better be something there for us.

**Jack: **It's a fucking stately home, of course there'll be something there.

**Bobe: **Like what?

**Jack: **Like Fucking antiques.

**Mikey: **Antiques? What the fuck do we know about antiques? We rob post offices and steal cars, what the fuck do we know about antiques?

**Jack: **SimpleIf it looks old, it's worth money. So stop fucking moaning and rob the place.

**Bobe: **So who's the Boss? Who we doing this for?

**Jack: **You're doing it for me is all you need to know. You only know that because you need to know.

**Mikey: **I see, one of those `on a need to know' basis things, like a James Bond film, is it?

**Jack: **Careful, remember who's giving you this job.

**Outside of an old Boxing Club entrance **6/6/2000 23:26

The Phantom, Adam Chantry, The Doctor and Sam Foster and just as their going to enter the building they are met by a doorman.

**Doorman: **Invitations.

**Sam: **Invitations?

**Doorman: **Yeah invitations, you know a pretty white piece of paper with your name on.

**Sam: **Well we have got about a hundred thousand pretty pieces of paper with some dead guys on. Will that do?

**Doorman: **All right, just you the others can wait in Samoan Jo's next door.

**Chantry: **Samoan Jo's? Yon mean the pub? Hold on.

**Doorman: **Hold on bollocks, no one but card players in here tonight sonny, and I do mean no one.

**Inside of the old Boxing Club **6/6/2000 22:28

Sam Foster enters the boxing gym on his own, and raises his eyebrows at the thought of climbing into the ring. Everybody else is sitting down counting their money and converting it to chips. Sam takes the only empty chair and has a quick look around, particularly behind.

**Sam: **Evening...This is a bit dramatic, isn't it? Is it supposed to be symbolic?

**Hatchet-Hollis: **It's for security.

**Sam: **I would have brought my gloves if I had known.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **You must be Sam...Phantom's Mate?

**Sam: **Yea, you must be Hollis? Sorry...don't know your friends.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Never mind lad, they might just pay you a visit if you carry on like that.


	4. A Samoan Pub?

Outside Samoan Jo's 6/6/2000 23:27

As The Phantom, Adam Chantry and Paul Simmons walk in to Samoan Jo's, a man comes tearing out of the door covered in flames followed by his friends trying to put the flames out. The lads look on in mild shock.

**Chantry: **I heard this place was rough.

Inside Samoan Jo's 6/6/2000 23:35

**Paul: **What sort of a pub is this then?

**Samoan Jo: **A Samoan one. Anything else?

**The Phantom: **(receiving a monstrous, leafy cocktail) What's this?

**Samoan Jo: **A cocktail, you asked for a cocktail.

**The Phantom: **No, I asked you to give me a refreshing drink. I wasn't expecting a rainforest

**Paul:** You could fall in love with an orang-utan in that.

**Samoan Jo: **You want a pint, go to the pub.

**Chantry: **I thought this was a pub.

**Samoan Jo: **It's a Samoan pub.

**Chantry: **Well whatever it is, could you get your man to turn the TV down?

**Samoan Jo: **You ask him if you like, but I would leave him to it if I was you.

Chantry looks at Parv Mahal (the man watching the TV)

**Chantry: **Excuse me, could you turn the TV down?

**Parv:** ...No...

He takes a swig of whatever he is drinking and frowns at Chantry. And Chantry frowns back, then Paul interrupts.

**Paul: **This is the English-Brazil game, isn't it?

**Inside of the old Boxing Club **6/6/2000 23:30

**Card Dealer: **This is three card brag, gentlemen. That means that three threes is the highest, then three aces and then running down accordingly; then it's a running flush, a run, a flush, then a pair: An open man can't see a blind man, and it will cost you twice the anti to see your opponent. Don't fuck around, fellas you all know the rules and you know I won't stand for it.

**Card Player 1: **What sort of shirt is that then? 'Three hundred open.

**Sam: **The type of shirt that has buttons on the front and collars at the top. One hundred and fifty blind.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Three hundred and fifty open.

**Card Player 2: **Fold.

**Card Player 1: **You're the only guy in town who wears shirts like that. Three hundred and fifty open.

**Sam: **No, it's just I'm the only classy fella you have had the pleasure of seeing. One hundred and seventy-five blind.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Eight hundred?

Jack, who is sitting among sweaty towels in the locker room, takes out a four-inch monitor and switches it on, and hey presto he can see the card table. The camera is placed behind Sam in one of the four posts. Jack zooms in, pauses on the back of Sam's head, gets his focus and jibs down to view his cards, pauses and re focuses, because Sam is playing blind. He hasn't raised them there is nothing Jack can do. We cut to Jack's other hand. He is pressing a button on a remote control. We cut straight to Hatchet's leg which is receiving the pulse.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Listen ladies, this is cards. Men play cards, you want to talk soft you should be at the fucking hairdressers, so shut up and play...(dramatic pause)...I fold.

**Card Player 1: **Two thousand open.

**Sam: **Two thousand blind.

**Card Player 1: **You what?

There is a pause as Card Player 1 examines Sam's brow looking for a trace of nerves.

**Card Player 1: **Two grand? You're still blind!

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Well, you going to play?

**Card Player 1: **Fucking right I am going to play. Three thousand, there.

**Card Dealer: **Four thousand to an open man, you know that.

Hatchet can feel the confidence emanating from Sam. Card Player 1 continues to search Sam's forehead waiting for a break of nervous moisture, but it's as dry as a desert disco.

**Sam:** do you know how to play this game? The reason I put in half the anti is because I don't know what I have got. Now play, or fold.

Silence.

**Outside of an old Boxing Club entrance **6/6/2000 23:54 Card Player 1 is thrown out on to the street, screaming and cursing.

**Stately Home **7/6/2000 00:04 Ashley Bobe and Mikey Veasey, having now entered, the home and are make their way through the large house.

**Mikey: **OK Ash, we call each other Dave, all right?

**Bobe: **All right, Dave. Bobe looks at Mikey's disguise with some distaste. He has a stocking pulled over only half his face. A sexy thigh grip is replicating an artificial, frilly moustache, not giving the desired menacing look. A big bouffant head of hair is neatly being controlled up on top.

**Bobe: **Can't you pull that stocking down further, Dave?

**Mikey: **This just cost me a hundred and fifty bucks to have this done. (Lovingly rearranging his hair)If you think I am going to ruin it for a couple of old bastards you're mistaken, Dave**.**

**Stately Home Bedroom **7/6/2000 00:26 Bobe returns down a corridor carrying an armful of rifles and enters a large bedroom. There are a couple of English aristocrats tied up in bed. The old man has bits of tissue tie a round his genitals which Mikey has seen fit to light, in order to extract information.

**Bobe: **What are you doing, Dave?

**Mikey: **(Mikey is on the point of lighting another piece of tissue)Finding out where he keeps the money.

**Bobe: **Dave, you twat, does it look like these people have got any money? They can't even afford new furniture. We've got the guns now if you don't mind w-

At that moment they are interrupted by the sound of a shotgun cartridge. The ancient butler has made an unexpected entrance. He is holding an equally ancient pair of hammer-lock guns (the ones from the catalogue) which he has obviously got little control of. The recoil knocks the butler clear off his feet. The second shot hits the ceiling covering the old boy in plaster. The butler on his back. Bobe puts his foot down on the gun holding him down.

**Bobe: **You want to be more careful, old fella. You very nearly took my man's head clean off with that. You all right, Dave?

(We cut to a shaking shell-shocked Mikey, mouth agape. The gun shot has torn through the centre of Mikey's bouffant hairdo leaving him with a pair of smoking Mickey Mouse ears. Shock prevents him from answering)

**Bobe: **Dave?

**Inside of the old Boxing Club **7/6/2000 02:07

**Sam: **Ten grand blind. Hatchet feeling his leg he looks shifty

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Twenty thousand open.

**Sam: **(Sam looks at his cards he has a running flush)Twenty thousand open.

**The Boxing Club Changing Room **7/6/2000 02:08 Jack sighs with relief and types in the relevant information.

**Inside of the old Boxing Club **7/6/2000 02:09

Having received this information Hatchet pauses, then...

**Hatchet-Hollis: **I'll fold.

Sam frowns slightly This is odd play. Rather than looking happy he has a discrete glance over his shoulder satisfied that nothing can be amiss, he collects his money.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Don't go spending, that all at once, boy.

**The Boxing Club Changing Room **7/6/2000 02:10

Jack's phone rings. He jumps in shock and fishes around to find it.

**Jack: **What?

**Pay Phone **7/6/2000 02:11

**Bobe: **I thought you said no staff, Jack!

**Jack: **You get the guns?

**Bobe: **You should see what they did to poor Mikey! (Mikey wanders past the pay phone in a gormless state. He obviously doesn't know what day of the week it is).

**Bobe: **Yeah, yeah, we got 'em.

**Jack: **Good. I'll speak to you later.

Jack clicks the phone off. Bobe looks at Mikey and raises his voice as if speaking to a deaf person.

**Bobe: **Mikey? Mikey? if you can hear me, I think we better get you back in the van now, OK?

**Inside of the old Boxing Club **7/6/2000 02:19

Stakes have increased dramatically. There is a pause as Card Player 2 looks at his cards.

**Sam: **Twenty thousand open.

**Card Player 2: **OK. My Doctor would beat me to a heart attack if he knew what was going on here. I fold.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Got some cards there, boy? Thirty thousand. Back to you already Sam? (Hatchet looks impatiently at the door).

**Sam: **Fifty grand.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **(Hatchet scours Sam's forehead. It is still dry)Eighty grand.

**The Boxing Club Changing Room **7/6/2000 02:20

Jack, who is trying as hard as he can to see Sam's cards, frustratedly zooms in and out; eventually Sam raises them just enough hey bingo he sees Sam's cards!And hes got nothing but a pair of Threes. Jack excitedly starts tapping away.

**Inside of the old Boxing Club **7/6/2000 02:21

**Sam: **One hundred grand.

**Card Player 2: **Hold on fellas, I know th-

**Hatchet-Hollis:** (interrupts) YOU'RE NOT IN!, which means nobody cares what you know. Two hundred and fifty.

Hatchet and Sam minutely study each other's hairlines, waiting for a nervous droplet to appear. Sweat breaks a drop on Sam's forehead, fills frame. Slowly we follow a droplet's journey coursing down Sam's brow Eventually this is met by a large unblinking eye, at this point the pause is broken.

**Sam: **That is quite a raise, one hundred and fifty on my hundred.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Yes...and is there something else you want to say?

**Sam: **As you know, this puts us in an awkward position. I...I don't have enough to continue.

**Card Dealer: **We will have to see both your cards if no one loans Sam the money to continue. It's a loan or we see both your cards...(Silence follows)...It doesn't look li-

**Hatchet-Hollis:**(interrupts) I will!

**Sam: **You will what?

**Hatchet-Hollis: **I will loan you the money.

Silence. The sweat bead reaches the bottom of Sam's chin, trembles for a second, then unattaches itself. Very slowly it falls. We follow its long silent journey. Eventually it is greeted by the back of Sam's cards.

**Sam: **I...I think I w-would r-rather just t-turn them over.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **I am not interested in what you would rather; I want to keep going. I am also offering you the money, so we don't have to turn them over because you can borrow.

**Sam: **I need t-two hundred and fifty grand.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **No, you need five hundred grand to see me. Sam's face is now awash, busily blistering with sweat.

**Sam: **T-that's if I w-w-want to see you.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Well, you're going to have a problem carrying on.

**Card Dealer: **You can still fold.

Sam doesn't like the sound of this. There is sympathy in her voice. Hatchet looks sharply through narrowed eyes at the card dealer.

**Sam: **I'll see ya.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **For half a million?

**Sam: **Unless you are going to accept twenty quid.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **And still got a sense of humour. That's not monkey nuts son; you can still fold...OK, before I loan you this, I expect, if you lose of course, my money back within 5 days, Crystal? That's Sunday, OK? These last few words echo in the distance of Sam's mind. He is committed, but has now left the world of the conscious. Hatchet turns over the first card...it's a seven. Then the next...another seven, it looks as though he will have three then the third...it's a four. There is an anti-climatic silence.

**Card Dealer: **Is that it?

**Hatchet-Hollis:** (Hatchet looks content and rather nonchalant) Let's see your fucking cards!.

Nobody is impressed by Hatchet's cards all eyes fall on Sam expectantly We crash in to Sam's pupils with a loud swoosh. They contract to the size of pinheads as he throws down two threes and an ace

**Hatchet-Hollis: **(Hatchet approaches Sam and whispers in his ear) I know your friends are responsible for all of that cash, so I'll give you all 5 days to find it. After that, I'll take a finger off each of you and your friend's hands for each day that passes without payment; and when you have all run out of digits, then who knows what?

Sam gets up. He is hardly able to stand. He wobbles over to the door. Sam stumbles out of the door, doubles over and vomits all over the floor.


	5. The Plan

**Inside Samoan Jo's **7/6/2000 02:58

Sam has made his way into the bar. All his friends have fallen asleep. One of The Phantom's eyes opens to see Sam cleaning himself up.

**The Phantom: **This...doesn't look good. (The others wake on this statement).

(The Phantom voice-over) Sam then explained the unfortunate position we were all in. Hatchet-Hollis was going to start sizing up all our fingers in less then 5 days because he knew there was no way we could raise that kind of money on are own. But Hatchet saw it as are money on the table so it was also are debt off the table. Sam would hate to admit it but he could have kissed the old bastard for that. If he said he wanted to settle this debt on his own it would have been a lie.

**Sam: **Listen, I wish he would let me settle it on my own.

Chantry drops his drink and rushes Sam.

**Chantry:** I'll Kill Him!

**The Phantom: **(intercepts Adam) Stop fucking around and think...What are we going to do?

**Paul: **What's all the fuss about Hollis? Why don't we just boycott the payment? (They all look at Paul like he is mad).

**The Phantom: **Let me tell you about Hatchet Hollis. Once there was this geezer called Smith Robin who worked for Hollis. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Hollis invited Smith round for an explanation. Smith didn't do a very good job. Within a minute Hollis lost his temper and reached for the nearest thing at hand, which happened to be a fifteen-inch black rubber cock. He then proceeded to batter Smith to death with it and that was seen as a pleasant way to go...Hence, Hatchet Hollis is a man you pay if you owe.

**Sam: **I'll think of something, don't worry.

**House/Drug Laboratory** 7/6/2000 10:33

The ridiculous door-bell horn blows.

**Jay:** Who the hell's that. It's only ten.

**Dan:** Use that cage, that's what it's there for.

**Shayne: **(intercom) Who is it?

**Melvyn: **(intercom) Melvyn, open up. (This is done without the use of the steel-caged security door).

**Melvyn: **This weed is getting quite a reputation, you know, fellas.

Claire Hyman remains motionless in her chair. Melvyn waves his hand about in a sort of `how you doing' way to everyone and goes to take a seat. At the last minute, poised like he is sitting on a potty he realizes he is about to sit on this girl.

**Melvyn: **Jesus! Never saw you there. Hello, love. Enjoying yourself?

Claire doesn't respond. Melvyn waves his hand over her face. Still no response. Melvyn looks around for some acknowledgement.

**Melvyn: **Is she er...compus?

**Dan:** (doesn't look up) What do you think?

Melvyn takes a close look at the girl.

**Claire: BOO!**

Melvyn jumps back, completely taken by surprise, knocking over a pedestal of shoe boxes stacked up against a wall, full of fifty-pound notes.

**Melvyn: **Fuck me!

Dan is pissed off, looks at Shayne like it's his fault.

**Dan:** For God's sake. Clean that up.

**Shayne: **Sod you, you clean it up.

**Melvyn: **Sorry fellas, but that stupid cow!

**Shayne: **Never mind, could you please just sit down and stay out of the way.

**Dan: **Anyway, how much do you want?

**Melvyn: **(trying to look like the money hasn't had an impact on him) I am after a half weight.

**Dan: **That's one and a half thousand. Pass those scales Shayne and sort out the gear. Melvyn?... Any chance of seeing your money?

**Hayden's strip club **7/6/2000 10:56

Adam Chantry, Paul Simmons and Sam Foster sitting and talking in the back of Hayden's strip club.

**Sam: **The odds are one hundred to one so all we need is five grand.

******Paul**: I would rather put my money on a three-legged rocking horse. The odds are a hundred to one for a good reason.....it won't win. So where did you come up with this bright idea?

**Sam: **At the bottom of a bottle....it's hit me hard.

**Paul: **It's hit us all hard!

**Sam: **Yeah, but I've have got to tell The Phantom's cousin he is about to lose his Strip Club.

Chantry, who has not really been listening, suddenly interrupts.

**Chantry: **Listen to this one then you open a company called the Ass Tickler's Faggot Fan Club. You take an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in ass-intruding dildos, sell it a bit with, er....I dunno 'does what no other dildo can do until now' latest and greatest in sexual technology. Guaranteed results or money back, all that bollocks. These dildos cost twenty-five each a snip for all the pleasure they are going to give the recipients. They send a cheque to the company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something, for twenty-five. You put these in the bank and let them clear. Now this is the clever bit. Then you send back the cheques for twenty-five pounds from the real company name, Ass Tickler's Faggot Fan Club, saying sorry, we couldn't get the supply from America, they have sold out. Now you see how many of the people cash those cheques not a single soul, because who wants his bank manager to know he tickles ass when he is not paying in cheques!

**Paul: **So how long do you have to wait 'till you see a return?

**Chantry: **Probably no longer than four weeks.

**Paul: **So, what good is that, if we need it in five no, four days?

**Chantry: **Well, it's still a good idea.

******Sam:** Listen to this one....

**Karl's House **7/6/2000 11:32

**Karl: **So do you know these geezers well?

**Melvyn: **Well enough. I have been buying gear off one of them for a couple of years.

**Karl: **What they like then?

**Melvyn: **Poofs. Nothing heavy, three public school guys. Soft as shit.

**The Dammed club house **7/6/2000 11:34

The Phantom enters his house takes off his jacket and opens the cupboard doors. He hangs his coat up and The cupboard doors now being open, he can clearly hear next door's discussion.

**Karl's House **7/6/2000 11:35

**Melvyn: **They ponce around in funny hippie clothes all day, talking bollocks. They're just good at growing weed, that's all, and business has got bigger than what they can keep up with.

**Karl: **Listen, they can't be all stupid if they got a container load of cash sitting in shoe boxes, a skip-load of Class A gear and you don't think there is anybody sensible involved.....What about security?

**Melvyn: **There's one steel gate as you go in but they never lock it.

**Karl: **What do you mean, never? Well what have they got it for, then?

**Melvyn: **I must have been there fifty times, it's never been locked; they're not suspicious. Everybody who goes there are toffs. They're all into that karma crap: `If I don't harm nobody, nobody harms me' stuff.

**Karl: **Is there no way they can get back to you?

**Melvyn: **Even if they could they'd be too shit scared. They've got no muscle.....gutless faggots.

**Hatchet Hollis's Office **7/6/2000 11:59

Hatchet Hollis and The Phantom are talking on the Phone. Hatchet is polishing a shotgun. It is very different in appearance to the hammer-locks.

**The Phantom: **Well?...Can we have more time?

**Hatchet Hollis: **...No!...oh and I think you should know Jack is on his way?

**The Phantom: **I think you're making a mistake...That's a lot of money for Jack to be running after. I wouldn't trust him to bring it back.

**Hatchet Hollis: **What do you know about Jack, eh? You put Iron Jack on a job and he will make sure it gets done no matter what's in his way. His dad used to collect debts and his dad before that. It seems that the Almighty himself requested them to collect debts for eternity and not to fear knocking on old Nick's door himself if he was behind on his payment. But he has never nicked a picker in his life. Straight as an arrow and as strong as the bow that fired it. If you dropped your tenner he would search the world till he found ya.....the only problem is he isn't stable has a temper like a runaway train, and he hits twice as hard.

Jack is walking up the stairs. He reaches the top and knocks on the door.

**Hatchet Hollis's Office **7/6/2000 12:06

Jack is sitting in front of Hatchet

**Hatchet Hollis: **Want a drink?

**Jack:** No thanks I'm all right. Nice shooter.

**Hatchet Hollis: **Like it? One of a pair, Holland and Holland. Here, you want to hold it?

**Jack: **Nah, not my thing, thank you. Business good? I imagine that's what I am here for.

**Hatchet Hollis: **I want you to forget about any other debts at the moment there are fresher fish to fry!

**J****ack: **Phantom's mates?

**Hatchet Hollis:** That's right It's a bit of a priority. And now their in deeper than they can handle they owe me half a million!

**The Dammed club house **7/6/2000 12:21 Adam Chantry, Paul and Sam Foster are sitting in front of The Phantom who looks as though he is about to launch in to a speech.

**Chantry: **What's the flapping about? You told your cousin yet?

**The Phantom:** No....and I hope I won't need to. I got a plan. So listen carefully.


	6. Katmandu Where's That?

**House/Drug Laboratory **7/6/2000 12:25

**Dan: **Look, he set us up. That means he put money into us, which means he expects money out of us. You don't need to be an economist to work that out.

**Jay: **He might think we smoke a lot and burn a bit of profit, but he can't have any idea about the hard currency we've accumulated. We can just slice it off the top.

**Dan: **You guys, you've got to realise who this chap is. He's a fucking lunatic. If he gets the slightest inkling that we are not throwing straight dice you and fuck it me! are going to know what the sharp side of a kebab knife feels like.

**The Dammed club house **7/6/2000 12:37

The situation has been explained. There are thoughtful frowns on all foreheads. There is a pause.

**Sam: **Well, what do you want us to do about it?

**The Phantom: **Hit them! (Pause while this is digested) I know it sounds a bit heavy, but it's not like you are doing anything illegal.

**Paul: **I don't know how you've reached that conclusion.

**The Phantom: **They can't report they have had all their drugs and drug money nicked, can they?

**Sam: **How heavy are the fellas anyway?

**Chantry: **They don't look all that.

**Paul: **Hitler didn't look all that.

**The Phantom: **All right, but because of Sam we're in the shit and this is the silver spoon. If you can think of another way to get out, let me know....let me know It's not like we've got all the time in the world either?

Silence falls over them

**Chantry: **I am game.

**Paul: **Me too.

**Sam: **Oh, god!

**The Phantom: **Well, we hit them as soon as they come back. We'll be waiting and prepared for them...(Pause as The Phantom's voice drops a little)...And they are armed.

**Sam: **What was that, armed? What do you mean, armed? Armed with what?

**The Phantom: **What do you think they will be armed with? Guns, you twat!

**Sam: **Guns! You never said anything about guns. A minute ago this was the safest job in the world, now it's turning in to a bad day in Bosnia.

**The Phantom:** Sam, stop being such a mincer. I thought about that and...

**Sam: **And what exactly?

**The Phantom: **And we will just have to find out who's going to be carrying them.

**Paul: **Carrying them. They could all be carrying them for what we know.

**The Phantom: **No, just one of them is in charge of them going to the job. So I assume he will still be carrying when he comes back from the job.

**Sam: **Oh, you assume, do ya? What do they say about assumption being the brother of all fuck-ups?

**Paul: **It's the mother of fuck-ups, stupid!

**Sam: **Well, excuse me, brother, mother or any other sucker, doesn't make any difference, they are still fucking guns, and they still fire fucking bullets!

**The Phantom:** If you got a better idea to get five hundred grand in the next few days you let us know....In the meantime, Chantry, speak to Jim The Jew about moving the Weed.

**Hayden's strip club **7/6/2000 14:15

Chantry and Jim are stuck away in a corner playing on a fruit machine

**Jim The Jew: **…Weed?

**Chantry: **Not normal weed. This is some fucked-up skunk class A. I can't think let alone move shit.

**Jim The Jew: **Doesn't sound very good to me.

**Chantry: **Neither me, but it depends on what flicks your switch, and the light's on and burning bright for the masses.

**Jim The Jew: **You'll need samples, Adam.

**Chantry: **No can do.

**Jim The Jew: **Where's that? A place near Katmandu? Meet me half way.

**Chantry: **Listen, it's all completely chicken soup.

**Jim The Jew: **It's what?

**Chantry: **Kosher as Christmas

**Jim The Jew: **(rolls his eyes) Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

**Chantry: **Never mind that now. I also need some artillery, you know, a couple of sawn-off shotguns.

**Jim The Jew: **This is a bit heavy. What are you boys up to? Who do you think I am?

**Chantry: **I think you're Jim The Jew

Parv Mahal's Office 7/6/2000 16:02

Parv is a very well-dressed cool-looking dude. He is in his own way sophisticated considering what he does for a living. His help, however, are less well-informed. Parv has Jim The Jew in front of him.

**Jim The Jew: **So would you be interested?

**Parv: **Jim, I don't have anything to do with weed, normally, but if it is what he says it is, I'll give him three and a half thousand a key, that's if it is what he says it is. I don't want to see it after asample, I don't want to touch it after a sample. I'll leave you in the capable hands of Nathan here. He will work out the details, but let me get this straight....If the milk turns out to be sour....I ain't the kind of pussy who will drink it....Know what I mean?

**Empty Parking Lot **7/6/2000 16:35

Ashley Bobe and Mikey Veasey are handing over all the shotguns from their previous job to Jack. Mikey has got a complicated hair arrangement to disguise his accident with the butler. Jack raises his eyebrows at this new look.

**Jack: **Is your hair supposed to look like that, then?

Mikey ignores this question.

**Bobe: **Next time we do a job like this we gonna want more money, or we are going back to post offices and cars.

**Jack: **(Jack is looking with concern for the hammer-lock shotguns) Where're the others?

**Mikey: **There are no others.

**Jack: **Now, stop fucking around. The others the old ones?

**Bobe: **I don't know what you mean.

**Jack: **(dead serious) There were two old guns there where are they?

**Bobe: **Not in the cabinet there wasn't. There was a couple of old hammer-lock muskets the butler was carrying but they were ours and we sold 'em!

**Jack: **Well you just better un-sell 'em, sharpish.

**Bobe: **But they were our-

**Jack: **(interrupts) I AM NOT FUCKING INTERESTED!...If you don't want to end up counting the fingers that You Haven't Got! I suggest you get those guns, Quick!

**Back of Jim's van **7/6/2000 18:41 Jim The Jew is unwrapping two long implements from a sheet the hammer-lock shotguns.

**Chantry: **Jesus, if I pick them up, will they stay in one piece? Where did you get them from?

**Jim The Jew: **I got contacts. Listen if you pointed them at me I'd shit myself or do whatever you said to do. Either way you still get the desired....effect.

**Chantry: **They look nice, I agree...very nice...but lacking in criminal credibility aren't they? I might get laughed at. How much do you want for these muskets?

**Jim The Jew: **Seven hundred each.

**Chantry: **What's that, a dollar for every year they have been around? I know they're antiques, but I ain't paying antique prices.....And they're a bit long, aren't they?

**Jim The Jew: **Sawn-offs are out, Adam people like to have a bit mare range nowadays.

**Chantry: **Range? I don't want to blow the ass out of this country, granted, but I don't want anybody blowing a raspberry at me either. I want to look fucking mean.

**Jim The Jew: **Of course you'll look mean, you'll look really scary.

**Chantry: **All right, let's forget about them for the time being. What about your weed man?

**Jim The Jew: **Parv Mahal is standing by. You stand to make a lot of money Biker boy.

**Hayden's strip club **7/6/2000 20:24

Ashley Hayden's has a shell-shocked face from news he just got. He gently lays down an empty glass on the bar.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **I understand if this has come as a bit of a shock, but I'll tell you how this can be resolved by you my good nephew.

**Ashley: **Go on.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **I like your Club

**Ashley: **Yes?

**Hatchet-Hollis: **....I want your Club.

**Ashley: **And?

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Do you need me to you draw a picture?

**Ashley: **This Club is mine, and The Phantom has nothing to do with it.

**Hatchet-Hollis: **What, and I care? Remember, you do have the luxurious advantage of being able to sustain your cousin's life.

**Ashley: **And you do have a reputation, so I'll choose my words carefully. But not to put too fine a point on it, fuck yourself, Hollister!

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Careful...and don't you know its Hollis now. I'll put that down to shock, but only once, only once can or will I let you get away with that. Your cousin's still got three days to find half a million, but make up your mind which one you prefer: your cousin, or your Club.


	7. Like What?

**The Dammed club house **8/6/2000 10:17

Chantry who has his headphones on has rigged up an amplifier to the hole in the cupboard along with a ridiculous amount of recording equipment. The house lights still flicker on and off.

**Karl's House **8/6/2000 10:18

**Melvyn: **There's nothing to worry about, it's going to be easy.

**Karl: **There is no such thing as easy in my experience and, if you think this is going to be easy, you're a dick. It may be easier than most but it's not going to be easy.

**The Dammed club house **8/6/2000 10:19

Chantry has a kettle next to where he is sitting. It steams away quite happily but a worrying noise starts to come from the plug socket. Chantry prepares himself.- BOOM! He disappears into black smoke .

**Karl's House **8/6/2000 10:20

They react to the BOOM! Karl looks at the wall with suspicion.

**Karl: **What are those idiots doing next door?...(then continues)(Points at Tom) We use your van. It's up some stairs this place, so we'll stick out like balls on a bulldog. Melvyns going up first. There is a cage but it is never locked, is it Melvyn?

**Melvyn: **No.

**Karl: **And it better bloody not be. Once he is firmly in place, he gets the rest of us in. We'll get nasty with a couple of them, shit 'em up, scare and gag 'em. I can't see these wankers giving us a problem, but they might have a couple of tools hanging around like any cowboy. When the job is done we'll come straight back here. It's dark by then, unload and Robert's your father's brother. Everybody get that?

**Tom/Melvyn: **Yup.

**Karl: **Right, tomorrow, eight o'clock we'll do it. Apparently these stags don't get out of bed till midday, lowest ebb and all that, and that's how I like it.

**The Dammed club house **8/6/2000 10:25

**Chantry: **It's happening tomorrow morning.

**The Phantom:** Good make sure all your biker mates are out of here by then (getting out a 454 Revolver)...well here's mine what about yours?

Chantry gets out the hammer-lock shotguns

**Paul: **Where did you get those from....a museum?

**Chantry: **Jim The Jew.

**Paul: **How much did you part with?

**Chantry: **Six hundred for the pair.

**Paul: **Drachmas, I hope. I would feel safer with a chicken drumstick. They going to do more harm than good.....do they work?

**Chantry: **I dunno, but they look nice. I rather like ' em.

**Paul: **Top of the list of priorities, how nice they look.

**The Phantom:** If you don't mind, back to a more important issue. We've only got three real guns....apparently that's what they are. We find a good place to hide next door. When it sounds like the right time, we jump them, look nasty and stuff, cocoon them in gaffer tape, then we nick their van and swap the gear into a new van and then bring it back here. As long as we are all out of our hiding places quickly, it's the last thing they'll expect. If Adam and anyone else feels like kicking them around a bit I am sure it won't do any harm. A bit of pain never hurt any one (thinking about it) if you know what I mean....Also, I think knives are a good idea, you know, big fuck-off shiny knives, the ones that look like they could skin a crocodile.(gets out one of he's Combat Knife). Knives are good because they don't make any noise, and the less noise the more we're likely to use them. That'll shit 'em up and make us look like pros.

There is a pause as they look at The Phantom with suspicion.

**Chantry: **Is there something we should know about you?

**Paul: **I am not sure what's more worrying, the job or your past.

**The Dammed club house **9/6/2000 08:02

The Phantom, Adam Chantry, Paul Simmons and Sam Foster are all looking out a crack in the curtain. They are observing Karl's party en route to work. They are dressed as kebab shop assistants.

**Paul: **Where the fuck are they going? To butcher a sheep? I thought this was a robbery.

**The Phantom: **Where did they get those outfits from? Haven't we got some like that?

**Chantry: **Well, not exactly like that.

**House/Drug Laboratory **9/6/2000 08:25

Dan, Jay and Shayne are up and unusually awake. Today is the day to move the money so they are comparatively alert. There is lots of activity.

**Dan: **You fucking jelly-heads, move it. You have been up for two hours, you should have got somewhere by now. The gear and the money has got to be out of here before twelve. The horn blasts.

**Jay: **Who's that?

**Dan: **Jay, don't you dare open the door until you use that cage. I am serious, and find out who it is first.

**House/Drug Laboratory Front Door **9/6/2000 08:27

**Jay: **(raising his voice for the door) Hello, can I help you?

**Melvyn: **All right, it'sMelvyn. Is Shayne there?

**Jay: **(Lie) No, I'm afraid he's not. He's out at the moment.

**Melvyn: **Well, perhaps you can help?

**Jay: **Well, perhaps I can't if you know what I mean.

**Melvyn: **Look, could you just open the door so I could talk without shouting?

**J****ay: **I can't help you, Melvyn.

**Melvyn: **I think you'll find it is in your interest.

**J****ay: **Hold on. OK. (Whispering inside.) Look Shayne, it's Melvyn outside asking for you, he says it's in our interest.

**Dan: **I don't care if it's King Fucking Kong! he is not coming in here, not today.

**Shayne:** Hold on...we are in business and correct me if I am wrong, but that is business?

**J****ay: **Corrected; that's a walking accident that we can do without.

**Shayne:** Jesus, he's OK he knows only to buy weights now, so we are looking at least a couple of thou just one last time.

**J****ay: **What do you think, Dan? Pause.

**Dan: **….Shayne, this is the last time, and don't let him know that you're here, otherwise he will be here all day, and get rid of him quick. We have work to do.

**House/Drug Laboratory Outside **9/6/2000 08:31

**Karl: **(frustrated) What the fuck is going on?

**Tom: **Do you want me to have a look?

**Karl: **No, you silly fucker, stay still.

**Melvyn: **Come on, I can't wait out here all day.

**Karl: **(Whispering)What's going on?

Starting to get anxious that the whole deal could be off Melvyn looks down the stairs and waves at Karl as some kind of reassurance.

**House/Drug Laboratory Front Door **9/6/2000 08:33

**J****ay: **(off) All right, just coming.

Jay unlocks the door after getting the cage ready. There's an external door, and then a small corridor before the cage. Jay is inside the cage. Two, or at a push, three people could fit in this space before they would be poking out on the outside world.

**Melvyn: **I thought you were going to leave me out there all day.

**J****ay: **I didn't know you were a kebab man.

**Melvyn: **Lives and learns doesn't one. (Then devastation slaps him hard).....Keep the gates locked now...do you?

**J****ay: **Sorry, got to do business like this now; can't be too careful these days.

**Melvyn: **I know. (Suddenly turning very nasty whispering and wiping out a Ranger shotgun) Now shut it. You say a fucking word the right knee goes, another word then your left.

**J****ay: **(confused and believing it's a joke, until he sees the gun.)What are you doing, Melvyn?

**Melvyn: **What do you think I am doing? (Jay has found it all too much and has passed out with fear and pissed his pants) Hold on. What are you doing? Unlock that gate. I said unlock that fucking gate.

Melvyn is desperately trying to find the right key. Things are not going as well as planned. Karl, in the meantime, has decided it's time to start the show

**Karl: **Go! Go! Go! Fucking run.

They both go charging into the open door only to slam straight into Melvyn. The keys go flying out of Melvyn's hands and through the cage. Melvyn cries with frustration, reaching out with his hand to retrieve them. Karl, finding the gate locked, is none too happy They are also still exposed to the eyes of the world due to the lack of space between the outside door and the inside cage.

**Karl: **(mesmerized) The fucking gate's shut, You Prick!

**Melvyn: **Just hold on, I got the keys.(Having clawed them back with the end of his shotgun)

**Karl: **(seeing an unconscious man at his feet) What the fuck did you do to Fauntleroy?

**Melvyn: **(fumbling and panicking) I didn't touch him, he just passed out.

**House/Drug Laboratory Upstairs **9/6/2000 08:42

**Dan: **Jay....what's going on out there? (Realising) ....Get the rifle out, Shayne. We're being fucked.

**House/Drug Laboratory Front Door **9/6/2000 08:42

**Karl: **Get the sodding gate open NOW!. Melvyn is busy fumbling about, not really getting anywhere because of the pressure being applied.

**Melvyn: **(trying to convince himself, as much as Karl) It must be this one.

**Karl: **Just give me the keys.

The gun with which Melvyn has been entrusted is pointing straight at Karl's groin.

**Karl: **Point your gun in there Dick! not at me.

Tom has unwrapped his gun from his case. Karl turns and looks amazed at the size of the weapon.

**Karl: **What the fuck is that?

**Tom: **It's a Bren Gun.

**Karl: **You could have brought something a bit more fucking practical, couldn't ya?

Pop! (We hear the sound of an air gun pellet hitting the bars).

**Melvyn: **(trying to salvage some credibility) Don't you slags move or I'll kill the lot of ya.

**Karl: **(amazed by this stupidity) Who are you going to kill Melvyn? There's no one there.

We hear another pop and Melvyn gets shot in the neck. This understandably sends him into a real panic, thinking this is curtains.

**Melvyn: **(gurgle) They shot me!

Panic unashamedly exposing itself. Trickles of blood start flowing from in-between Melvyn's fingers.

**Karl: **(unimpressed) Well shoot them Back!

Melvyn shoots at everything and nothing. Smoke fills the corridor, leaving them in a cloud. A bit of coughing goes on, then silence.

**Tom:** Could have got smokeless cartridges, I can't see a thing. (Pop! Another pellet is fired hitting Tom in the chest) Ah, Jesus, shit, I've been shot!

**Karl: **I don't fucking believe this. Could everybody stop getting shot. it's only a fucking air rifl-

Karl is interrupted by an enormously loud blast of machine-gun fire. Karl and Melvyn panic, cover their ears and hit the floor. After this outburst Karl looks up at Tom and sees he is the culprit. Tom looks down at Karl expecting a congratulatory nod from Karl....he doesn't get it.

**Karl: **What the FUCK WAS THAT?

**Tom: **That was the bren gun!

**Karl: **If you use that again, you're a dead man, do you understand? (He speaks softly but he is quite shaken. He then raises his voice he has had enough of all this mincing)

**Karl: **Right fellas! (He shouts while dragging the semi-conscious body of Jay up to use as a shield). Before I go any further I am going to shoot your mate's toes off!

No sooner said than done his toes go. The smoke problem repeats itself and Jay faints again, but an unfazed Karl continues.

**Karl: **Now if you want us to be gone in two minutes, open the fucking gate, now!

**House/Drug Laboratory Upstairs **9/6/2000 08:57

**Shayne: **He'll probably kill us if we do.

**Dan: **Well, Jay will certainly get it if we don't; he's serious. Look what he did to his toes.

**Karl: **(off) Right, his leg's going now.

**Dan: **All right, all fucking right, I am coming.(Turning and whispering) Shayne, he doesn't know you are here, just sort something out, OK.

Shayne slinks off with a `like what?' look on his face.

**House/Drug Laboratory Front Door **9/6/2000 08:59

**Karl: **And all your friends, there's a good lad.

**Dan: **There is only two of us here.

**Karl: **Do you want me to take his leg off? Where's the third?

**Dan: **I mean it, there is only two of us here.

**Karl: **Melvyn?

**Melvyn: **(gurgle, gurgle) Yeah, one of them's out.

**Karl: **OK, open the gate.

No sooner said than done. Karl hits one straight on Dan's forehead with the butt of his gun and drags him to the stairs.


	8. British Empire

**House/Drug Laboratory Upstairs **9/6/2000 09:02

**Karl: **Up boy, up, up. They reach the top of the stairs.

**Karl: **Tie 'em up Tom....Melvyn Where's the money?

**Melvyn: **There, in those shoe boxes.

Karl opens them. There is nothing in them. If looks could kill Melvyn would be pushing up daisies.

**Karl: **(gun to the head of Dan) Where?

**Dan: **Out the back.

**Karl: **And the weed?

**Dan: **Out the back.

**Tom: **Point.

**Dan: **With what?

**Tom: **Your hands, now!

**Dan: **I can't, I am tied up.

**Tom: **Well, well, shake your head or something.

**Karl:** All right Melvyn , get Rider out of the van.(This is done on a walkie-talkie)

**Karl: **Tom, have a look

Tom opens the door. Shayne is waiting behind it armed with a machete. He turns to his opponent and, eyes shut for Dutch courage, hacks straight into Tom's arm. Tom's machine gun goes off and Shayne loses three fingers as he tries to push the barrel to the side. He starts screaming uncontrollably

**Karl: **(to Melvyn) Give us your knife.

Karl is going to put an end to this screaming and is making his way to its source. Shayne is silenced through fear of the approaching Karl. And slumps on the floor in a silenced wreck, holding a bleeding hand.

**Karl: **(the point of the blade resting on Shayne's throat) Enough! (Looking at Tom) Tom, how you doing?

**Tom: **(holding his arm) How I am doing?....He's fucking nearly CHOPPED MY ARM OFF!!!!

Karl's attention is diverted as he sees a table full of cash, neatly packed and stacked.

**Christian Rider:** (in doorway visibly shocked) What's been going on in here?

**Karl: **Shut up, you idiot. You got the bags? Can you get it in?

**Rider: **There's a lot here, all right. I don't think we will be able to get this all in Tom's van.

**Karl: **You'll get it in even if you have to do two trips.

**House/Drug Laboratory Outside **9/6/2000 09:23

A Traffic Cop appears as Rider goes outside to load up.

**Traffic Cop: **You'vegot a ticket already and, if you don't move it now, sir, we will move it for you.

**Rider: **I'll only be a minute.

**Traffic Cop: **You've already been fifteen.

Rider, realising that persuasion is futile, decides other means are necessary to despatch this nuisance. He looks down both sides of the street.....the coast is clear.

**Rider: **Look. Go on, look.

**Traffic Cop: **At what, exactly?

**Rider: **My van is half full. (Having made their way to the rear of the van, Rider opens the back doors).

**Traffic Cop: **So?

**Rider: **So I've just got to put you in, and I am off.

Rider smacks The Traffic Cop on the side of the head. The momentum carries the Traffic Cop into the van, unconscious. Rider has another quick look round and Lifts the guy's legs up and pushes him deeper into the vehicle.

**House/Drug Laboratory Upstairs **9/6/2000 09:30

**Melvyn: **My neck, Karl. (Karl shows no sign of pity)

**Karl: **(Turning to Tom) How about you?

**Tom: **I'll be fine

**Rider: **Don't worry man (looking at Shayne) I'll dealt with this little shit.

Rider grabs the machete that was used to disable Tom and Tom puts down the machine gun as he can't hold it with his bad arm.

**Karl: **Do it quietly.

Claire, who has been unnoticed by Karl and troop, has sat through the whole episode without apparently realising the gravity of the situation. She is kick-started into action by the demise of Shayne. The machine gun has been placed not too far away from her. She picks it up, and fires it into body of Rider, who is almost instantaneously transformed into dog meat. Claire, who has found a gear that nobody probably not even herself, knew existed, destroys everything she points at. Bodies jump for cover and Dan and the rest close their eyes and hope for the best. Eventually the gun, which seems to have a limitless supply of lead, goes quiet. Looks of relief come from everyone, Karl, who is closest, stands, walks straight up to her and punches her on the jaw Claire is knocked out.

**Karl: **What was that? Where did she come from? That's fucking it. We are getting out of here.

**Outside Karl's House **9/6/2000 09:11

Chantry forces one of the windows open. He looks pleased and beckons the others over. They keep in contact with Paul by cellular phones.

**Paul: **(on phone)Everything all right out there, Sam?

**Sam: **(on phone) Right as rain.

**Karl's House **9/6/2000 09:16

**Chantry: **Where the hell are we supposed to hide? Sam looks into an almost empty room in which they are to find cover. He shrugs, and goes to sort himself out a cup of tea.

**Chantry: **What are you doing?

**Sam: **Do you want one?

**Chantry: **No I fucking don't! You can't make a cup of tea NOW!!

**Sam: **Why not? The whole of the British Empire was built on cups of tea. And that covered three quarters of the globe.

**The Phantom: **And look what happened to that.

**Tom's Van **9/6/2000 09:42

Karl turns to admire a full van.

**Traffic Cop: **Y...y-you won't get a-away with this-s.

Karl turns around and sees the Traffic Cop.

**Karl: **Tom!, what's that?

**Tom: **That's a Traffic Cop.

**Karl: **(looking straight at Tom) What's he doing in the van?

Karl and the others look at the Tragic Cop mercilessly

**Tom: **Rider put him in, he was about to call the Pigs.

Tom hits him again, sending him back into unconsciousness.

**Karl: **We will deal with him later.

**Outside Karl's House **9/6/2000 09:57

**Paul: **(on the mobile phone) They're here.

**Karl's House **9/6/2000 09:59

Karl opens his door, enters the front room, dumps his two bags down and is met by a bleeding Melvyn (who is grunted at). Dog sighs and turns to get more bags. The action starts. It's hard to tell who is who because of the balaclavas. The lads jump out of their positions.

**Chantry: **Bend over the fucking barrel!

There is no response as the two of them seem not to believe what's going on. Chantry hits Karl with the butt of his gun, establishing who's boss. Karl does down with a thud. Melvyn hits the floor immediately. Tom enters, sees trouble, drops his bags and prepares to run. He is met by Paul who greets him with a smash round the kneecaps with a lead pipe. This has more than the desired effect and Tom has to be dragged in screaming by Paul. It all went rather smoothly

**The Phantom: **Tie 'em up, tape 'em up, hands and face. Keys, I want the keys.

**Karl: **I'll find you.

**Chantry: **Of course you will, sweetheart. This one, search that one.(pointing to Tom)

The Phantom finds the keys without any trouble.

**The Phantom: **I'll meet you in the van when you have finished with handsome there.

**Paul's New Van **9/6/2000 10:08

There is silence. For a few seconds all we can hear is the noise of their breathing.

**The Phantom: **Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?

**Paul: **When the bottle in my arse has contracted I'll let you know.

**The Phantom: **See what we got.

**Chantry: **Let's have a look. Jesus, there's lots of everything. We've got god knows how much of this stinking weed; we've got a shit load of cash; and we've got a....traffic Cop.

**The Phantom:** ….What!

**Chantry:** A traffic Cop. Look, what's this? (He holds up the hat).

**Sam: **Shit.

**Chantry: **I think he's still alive. He's got blood coming out of him somewhere....what did they want with a Traffic Cop?

**The Phantom: **I dunno, but I don't think we need him. Dump him at the lights.


	9. I Can't Have That

**Karl's House** 9/6/2000 13:42

Karl struggles free and unravels the tape from his head and gets the other two out.

**Karl: **Dead. Dead. I don't know who they think they could be, for me not to find 'em. Of course I'll find 'em. I don't give a flying fucking fish who they think they are. I'll kill - fur and feathers, burning wheel South African style, kebab 'em, peel 'em, slice 'em and dice ' em, hang draw and fucking quarter ' em.

**The Docks **9/6/2000 14:12

Two vans are parked back to back. We see The Phantom, Chantry, Paul and Sam putting one last trunk into the back of the new van.

**Paul:** That's it all done, we are off.

**Sam: **You think it's a good idea taking it back to yours?

**Chantry: **There is nowhere else to keep it, and it's the last place they are going to look. The Phantom passes a handful of grass to Chantry.

**The Phantom: **Take this to Jim, and get rid of it, quick.

**Parv Mahal's Office **9/6/2000 17:27

Jim has given the weed to Parv for inspection.

**Jim The Jew: **It is skunk . . . and it's as good as it gets.

**Parv: **OK, I'll take it off you half price.

**Jim The Jew: **I don't think he'll like that. You said three-five a key, that's what he wants and you know that's a good price.

**Parv: **It was yesterday I said three and a half grand and today is today, if I am not mistaken. (Turns back to the TV) I'll take it tomorrow for half price. If he wants to move it quickhe'll take it. Now, I've got another game coming up in a minute so if you would be kind enough.

(Pointing at the door Jim exits).

**Parv: **Nathan, take this to Snow White and the three little chemists they should have a gander at this. I want a proper opinion.

**House/Drug Laboratory **9/6/2000 20:02

Nathan, pulls up outside the Drug House to have the weed analysed.

**Nathan: **(Opens the door)Shit!

Dan is tied up and squirming.

**Dan: **For Christ's sake, get us out.

**The Dammed club house **9/6/2000 20:23

**The Phantom: **Not a bad day's work. That takes care of Hollis. (Pushing a massive pile of notes to one side).

**Paul: **What's left over?

**The Phantom: **Give me chance to count it!

**Paul: **What about all the gear?

**Chantry: **'Ere, have a pull of thiss. (Passes Phantom the joint).

**The Phantom: **I don't want that. Give it to Sam.

**Paul: **Can we just lock up and get drunk now, please?

**The Phantom:** Sure we've got nothing to do till sunday

**Chantry: **All right 24 hour bender here we come!

**Parv Mahal's Office **9/6/2000 20:39

We see Dan and Jay standing in front of Parv Like naughty schoolchildren.

**Dan: **We had the gates up but they stuck a shotgun through. Poor bloody Jay got shot it was a right mess.

**Parv: **It will cost you more than your life's worth if you jest with me.

**Nathan: **Some girl took one of 'em out, but he's a bit of a mess.

**Dan: **(proudly) I shot one of them in the throat.

**Parv: **What do you want, a fucking medal? I'll shoot you in the fucking throat if I don't get the gear back. (He pauses, rubs his forehead and continues, slightly calmer) You shot the one that's in there now?

**Dan: **No,no a another one.

**Parv: **This is more like it. So where's he?

**Dan: **They....they took him with them he was st-still alive.

**Parv: **Well, what did you shoot him with, an air gun?

There is an embarrassed pause and a look of `how did you know?' Parv doesn't need an answer and slaps his forehead.

**Dan: **We grow weed, we're not mercenaries.

**Parv: **You don't say.

There is a pause while Parv searches for the right words. The silence is deafening.

**Nathan: **(stupidly) Who could it be? Where do we start?

Parv looks up amazed.

**Parv:** You think this is a coincidence? This white shit steals my goods and then thinks it is a good idea to sell it back to me. They got less brains than you,.... Get Jim cum-bubble round here now if he is stupid enough to still be on this planet.

**Karl's House **9/6/2000 20:45

Karl has all his boys round.

**Karl: **I want you to search the house for bugs. I mean I want you to strip it.

**Tom: **What is the point in that? Even if it was a bug they would have taken it with 'em.

**Karl: **It is too late for you to start thinking Tom. It is a possibility and that is good enough for me. And after you strip the house, I want you to get every thieving slag and torture them, badly. I want to know who is responsible, otherwise I will hold you responsible.

**Hayden's strip club **9/6/2000 23:17

All kinds of characters have made an appearance. A game of cards is in motion, the forfeit now being alcohol. A Barfly is sitting at the table. They are already on the road to being comfortably comatose.

**Sam: **Thank god for men likeParv Mahal.

**English Barfly: **Yeah, I know Parv. Parv's got few interests in life dark music, football, bees and honey and kicking the shit out of anyone that interferes with that short-list. A few nights ago Parv's Roger iron rusted, so he has gone to the battle-cruiser to watch the end of a football game. Nobody is watching the custard so he has turned the channel over. A fat man's north opens and he wanders up and turns the Liza over. `Now fuck off and watch it somewhere else.' Parv knows claret is imminent, but he doesn't want to miss the end of the game; so, calm as a coma, he stands and picks up a fire extinguisher and he walks straight past the jam rolls who are ready for action, then he plonks it outside the entrance. He then orders an Aristotle of the most ping pong oddly in the nuclear sub and switches back to his footer. `That's fucking it,' says the man. Parv gobs out a mouthful of booze covering fatty he flicks a flaming match into his bird's nest and the man lit up like a leaking gas pipe. Parv, unfazed, turned back to watch his game. The flaming man and his chinos ran outside to extinguish the flames, and Parv cheered on. His team won too, four-nil.

**Chantry: **…. What?

**Parv Mahal's Office **10/6/2000 09:29

Jim is blissfully ignorant of the situation. He is sitting in front of Parv.

**Parv: **Your one saving grace might be your stupidity.

**Jim The Jew: **(looking quite petrified)... Er.

**Parv: **Don't fucking er me, Jew boy! How is it that your so-fucking-stupid, soon-to-be-dead friends thought they might be able to steal my gear? And then sell it back to me? Is this a declaration of war? Is this some sort of Jew cunts' joke that black cunts don't get? 'Cos I Am Not Fucking Laughing!

**Jim The Jew: **…**. **Er.

**Parv: **There are four interests I have, Jim. Football, music, money, and the annihilation of anybody who interferes with that short-list..... I know you couldn't have known my position because you're not so fucking stupid that if you did know, you would turn up here scratching your ass, with that `what's going on here' look slapped on your face. But what you do know is where these people live.... If you hold anything back, I'll kill you. If you bend the truth, or if I think you're bending the truth, I'll kill you. If you forget anything, I'll kill you. In fact, you're going to have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. I hope you understand everything.... Because if you don't, I'll kill you. Now, Mr Bubble and Squeak. You may.... enlighten me.

**Karl's House **11/6/2000 9:13

Tom and Melvyn are lined up like naughty schoolchildren in front of Karl, who is black-eyed and pissed off.

**Karl: **So we have a bit of a problem, don't we?

**Melvyn: **Er well, yes we do.

**Karl: **In fact it is a little more than a bit of a problem, isn't it? You could say that in the scale of these things this is the Mount fucking Everest of problems, couldn't you? . . . And the reason it is such a mon fucking-strosity of a problem is because you don't have the first fucking idea who did this to us, do you?

**Melvyn: **Karl, we have been up all night. It's no one round here! We have had them all against the wall.

**Tom: **If it was someone from the area we would know. Karl starts slapping his troops round their heads.

**Karl: **You wouldn't know if it was the next-door fucking neighbours, you prick! You find 'em, you hear? And find 'em quick! Now get out and start looking! Out! Out!

Karl Loses his temper and throws Melvyn across the room. Melvyn's head breaks effortlessly through the wall.

**The Dammed club house **11/6/2000 09:15

A dust-covered Melvyn blinks in confusion as he looks on to a heap of recording equipment.

**Hayden's strip club **11/6/2000 09:19

The lads are Recovering from the night before.

**Sam: **Scarface, I have watched Scarface. You want to know how to do a drug deal, you watch Scarface!

**The Phantom: **That doesn't inspire confidence.

**Paul: **This guy Parv Mahal can afford to do the deal at the price we are selling. It's not worth him giving us trouble he knows we would be a pain in the ass, and who wants a pain in the ass?

**Chantry: **I would take a pain in the ass for half a million.

**Paul: **You would take a pain ? the ass full stop.

**Chantry: **Paul, the fatter you get, the sadder you get.

**The Phantom** : Would you two stop for one minute.... After I pay Hatchet, this deal puts us up near enough two hundred grand each. Not bad for a day's work, I think you'll agree.

**Jim The Jew's House **10/6/2000 09:23

A very shaky Jim answers his cartoon telephone.

**Jim: **Yeah!

**Mikey: **That's no way to answer the phone.

**Jim: **Is that you, Mikey?

**Mikey: **Sure is.

**Jim: **What can I do for you?

**Mikey: **You know those shotguns I sold ya, well I need 'em back.

**Jim: **Not likely I am afraid; I don't think I'll be seeing them again.

**Mikey: **I got the money to pay for 'em.

**Jim: **I am sure you do, but I don't think you understand; I am not going to see them or the guns again.(hangs up) Mikey looks at Ashley Bobe.

**Mikey: **If we can't get 'em, we can't get 'em. Jack is on his mobile, moments later.

**Jack: **You fucking well have to get 'em!

**Mikey: **We made a deal for everything inside the cabinet.

**Jack: **Inside, out-side. I don't give a shit, you get those guns because if you don't....

**Mikey: **Yeah, Jacko, what?

**Jack: **You heard of Brian Hollis? Otherwise known as Hack-you-up-with-a-Hatchet-Hollis, infamous for his removal of digits? Mikey pauses for a while, a look of concern coming over his face.

**Jack: **Well this is `James Bond need to know' time. They're his! When you dance with the devil you wait for the song to stop, know what I mean?

Hatchet has had enough. He grabs the phone from Jack's hand

**Hatchet-Hollis: **Do you know who I am? I am split in two theres me, and there is my patience, and patience has gone to the hospital you are not far behind, know what I mean? I mean, find them, torture them, kill them, and bring back what belongs to me, because if you don't . . . you are . . . BANG! . . . in trouble.

Hatchet slams the phone down. Mikey looks at Bobe in horror.

**Bobe:** Who was that?

**Mikey: **That was Horrible-Hatchet-Hollis.

**Bobe:** Jesus, I've met him.

**Mikey: **We're in the shit. They were his fucking guns that we sold we gotta find 'em.

Mikey dials Jim immediately.

**Mikey: **No fucking about, Jim where can I find those guns?

**Hatchet Hollis's Office** 11/6/2000 10:12

**Hatchet-Hollis: **It's about time you give my young friends a visit, Jack. Tomorrow is the day and mum seems to be the word, and I can't have that now, can I?

**Jack: **No Hatchet, you can't.


	10. What are you doing here?

The Dammed club house 11/6/2000 10:13

Karl and boys have made a Large hole in the connecting cupboard wall which they have crawled through. Tom is holding a large bag which he has found.

**Tom: **Karl, I've found the cash!

**Karl:** Bastards! Count it!

**Tom: **Shit, Karl there's a lot. Don't you want to do this next door?

**Karl: **We're not going next door until we've flayed these dead men walking. Count it out the back. I don't want them seeing you fingering that money as soon as they walk in.

**Tom: **Bu-

**Karl: **(interrupts) Hide! and get the guns ready. Wait until they are well in, then give it to 'em.

**Parv Mahal's Office **11/6/2000 10:32

Parv is amassing his troops and preparing to go round to The Dammed club house.

**Parv: **We are going to do a proper decoration job. I want the grey skies of New York illuminated I want that house painted red. Dan here is coming along, see if he can recognize any of 'em, then we bring what's mine back here. Watch out for these fellas they've got a bit of arsenal and they don't mind using it. Now you know what you're doing...yes?

**Outside The Dammed club house **11/6/2000 10:38

Jack is waiting outside. Karl's gang are waiting inside. Parv's gang are going to Club House. **I**

**nside Parv Mahal's Van **11/6/2000 10:49

Six heavy-looking black guys are loading their weapons.

**The Dammed club house **11/6/2000 10:56

Karl's gang are also loading their weapons and concealing themselves among the furniture. Karl is counting out the money in the side room and has the two antique hammer-lock shotguns resting on the table in front of him, which were found with the rest of the bounty.

**Outside The Dammed club house **11/6/2000 10 :58

Parv's boys stop the van outside and back up to the front door. The rear van door is opened when it is completely Lenny (with gun) prepares to do his worst.

**The Dammed club house **11/6/2000 10:59

There is a loud bang and the front door disappears. In its place is a large black man pointing an even larger machine gun. Nobody seems to be at home it appears to be quite an anti-climax. A long pause follows as both gangs don't quite know what to do. Parv's guys jump over the machine gun to explore further.

**Melvyn: **(under his breath) What the fuck is going?

Tom and Melvyn are confused as to why these guys appear to have broken into their own home, carrying weapons of mass-destruction and looking to use them. From Melvyn's point of view under the sofa. He can see numerous pairs of boots and they are multiplying. At last Melvyn can't Take any more his finger's shaking too much on the trigger. **BANG!**

**Outside The Dammed club house **11/6/2000 11:00 The windows shattering from the outside as bullets hail through.

**The Dammed club house **11/6/2000 11:01 Karl, who was counting the spoils in the adjoining room, is more than aware of the seriousness of the situation. He quickly closes his suitcase of money and grabs the two old guns, opens the adjoining door, gets splattered in blood and smoke and quickly closes it. He then checks his escape route out of the front window and exits. Karl looks quite pleased with himself as he still has the money and his life, and is holding the infamous guns in each hand like a Mexican bandit.

**Outside The Dammed club house **11/6/2000 11:02

Jack, watching the house, intrigued and interested by all the activity, has made his way closer, and low and behold looks what walks straight into him.

**Jack: **Got something here for me, have ya?

**Karl: **….(Karl is stunned by this)

**Jack: **Come on, chop chop.

Before Karl has a chance to use the shotguns Jack grabs one in each hand and knocks Karl down with a swift head-butt. Karl moans, not knowing what day of the week it is. Jack opens the case, sees it's full of money, takes the two shotguns, then leaves in his Car.

**Jack: **Thank you very much.

Mikey and Bobe who have been watching the hole thing

**Mikey: **Follow that car, Bobe he's got the fucking guns.

**The Dammed club house **11/6/2000 11:05

The Dammed's place has been shot to pieces. Only Parv and Dan (in shock) seem to be left. Parv is throwing the bags of weed into the back of his van, then he kicks over one of the bodies. It's a blood-covered Tom.

**Parv: **This is one of them? (Dan nods in confirmation) Lucky that. (Points his his gun at Tom)

**Bang! Bang!**

Tom (to Parv's surprise) still had a loaded gun. Parv and Tom despatch each other simultaneously.

**Sam's Car **11/6/2000 11:13

Sam, Chantry and Paul look hung-over Paul is driving.

**Chantry: **There's six black Roosters sitting on the side of the road. How many beaks have they got between them?

**Sam: **…Six.

**Chantry: **How many wings have they got between them?

**Sam: **Twelve.

**Chantry: **How many feet?

**Sam: **Er, well, twelve.

**Chantry:**That's right. So how many whiskers has the little white kitten got?

**Sam: **How the fuck should I know?

**Chantry: **How come you know so much about black cocks and so little about white pussy?

The end of this joke is interrupted by a van swerving past them, dangerously close. The lads lodge a complaint and then they stop outside The Club House so that they can Check if The Phantom has returned from Hatchet-Hollis after giving him his money.

**The Dammed club house **11/6/2000 11:27

**Chantry: **What the fucks been going on here?

They look into a smoking, blood-covered house.

**Paul: **The money?, the gear?

**Chantry: **…Gone.

**Sam: **That's fucked it. What do we do now? No money, no weed it's all been swapped for a pile of corpses.

**Paul: **OK, don't panic let's think about this.

**Chantry: **Bullshit! You can think about it for as long as you like. I am panicking and I am off!

**Outside Hatchet Hollis's Office** 11/6/2000 11:26

Jack is about to walk in to Hatchet's office. The door opens and out walks Brett Smith with a serious sunburn.

**Jack: **Hello, Brett. Nice holiday?

**Brett: **I won't be seeing you again Jack! I have paid him every last penny.

**Jack: **I am sure you have, no one was accusing you of being dishonest.

**Hatchet Hollis's Office** 11/6/2000 11:29

**Hatchet Hollis: **(seeing the guns)How did you get your hands on these? (realising that these are the guns he has been after. He then tries desperately to conceal his excitement).

**Jack: **The boys had 'em. I know you like these things wondered if you wanted them?

**Hatchet Hollis: **Er, yeah, sure, I'll have them... Was it any trouble getting the money?

**Jack: **Well, not especially, but they seem to of upset a few characters.

**Hatchet Hollis: **Have you counted the money?

**Jack: **Yeah, it's all there, to the pound.

**Hatchet Hollis:** They were going to pay, then?

**Jack: **It looks like ? but who knows? The opportunity was there. In my experience it is best to take the opportunity if it is there.

**Hatchet Hollis: **Good job, Jack.

Jack exits, pushing his wages into his inside packet. Hollis is ecstatic about the guns and starts chuckling to himself. Just as The Phantom walks in.

**Outside Hatchet Hollis's Office **11/6/2000 11:37

Mikey and Bobe watch Jack walk out of Hatchet's empty-handed

**Mikey: **We gotta get those guns.

**Bobe: **This is dangerous shit, we don't even know who lives in there.

**Mikey: **Listen, I don't care who lives in there; all as I know it's got to be preferable to death by Hatchet.

**Bobe:** let's go.

**Outside The Dammed club house **11/6/2000 11:42

**Sam: **I hope this is the right move.

**Paul: **It's either this,or Hayden's strip club, and we lose a digit daily. I'm going to call him.

**Chantry: **As if he'll care.

******Sam:** He'll care all right. That was going to be his money. Whether he cares about us is different. Pass your phone.

******Paul:** Think about what you're going to say, we are on thin ice. And where the fuck is Phantom?

**Hatchet Hollis's Office Staircase **11/6/2000 11:45

Mikey and Bobe with guns in hand creep their way up the stairs. There's only one door in front of them. Bobe gets ready to kick it open. Mikey leans against the wall.

**Hatchet Hollis's Office **11/6/2000 11:47

The Phantom is sitting on the office desk loading the two guns. The phone rings.

**Hatchet Hollis: **(Answering the phone) That you, boy?

**Sam: **(on phone) It's Sam, if that's what you mean.

**Hatchet Hollis: **It's pay day, isn't it?

**Sam: **I wanted to talk to you about that.

**Hatchet Hollis: **Ha! I bet you did. I have got half a million sitting in front of me, which means that some poor sole doesn't. You must have upset a few people, boy... but that isn't really my concern, is it? But what does concern me is the guns you had. I want to talk to you about that. Get your self over here now, and I do mean now!

**Outside The Dammed club house **11/6/2000 11:50

Sam puts the phone down after a pause. His state of shock is obvious to the rest of the group.

**Chantry: **Well?

**Sam: **…what?

**Chantry: **(impatiently) Well, what did he say?

**Sam: **He said he thinks we have paid him, and he wants to talk about those guns... now.

**Paul: **You what? What are you on about?

**Chantry: **Then maybe Phantom got the money to him before what ever happen in there?

**Sam: **Listen, if he has the guns he might have the money ...I think we should go and see him.

**Paul: **I think you're a sandwich short of a picnic, you want to start making sense.

**Hatchet Hollis's Office **11/6/2000 11:50

Hatchet puts down the phone while resting on the chair behind the door. . He is ecstatic with the guns. The Phantom loads and plays with them, aiming at imaginary moving birds. **Hatchet Hollis: **So in your own words, Just what the hell have you been up to?

**The Phantom:** Well this all started when one of my agents in U.N.A.T.C.O. Told me about his brother Dan Coombe and the things he's into well I sore my chance.

**Hatchet Hollis: **Chance for what?

**The Phantom: **A chance to get The Dammed to start working for me. But they didn't seem to care so a had to motive them and what better way than a debt to the biggest gangster in town.

**Hatchet Hollis: **So you planned this hold thing from the start?

**The Phantom: **Well apart those guys next door hitting the same place as us and Jim the Jew spilling the beans yes.

The door is suddenly kicked wide open and, lo and behold, there is Mikey standing in the door. Mikey has a thousand ugly thoughts flying through his troubled mind, most of which are based on regretting the decision to kick this door in. The Phantom realizes that the man standing in the doorway (who is posed like De Niro in the poster of Taxi Driver, holding a gun in each hand) has nor come to deliver the mail. The pause is eventually shattered by reality There is a rush to pull their individual triggers. There is a race between the two bullets to reach their prospective targets. Both barrels are emptied into Mikey's chest. Mikey is airborne by the sheer power of the cartridges.

One of Mikey's bullets,finds its way into Phantom's shoulder to witch he doesn't seem to care . Bobe can do nothing to stop this atrocity. He watches helplessly as his pal flies clean past him. Overtaken by emotion or fear, Bobe charges in, gun blazing, and proceeds to perforate The Phantom who flies over The desk. Bobe comes into the room to finish the job and fires one last bullet into The Phantom, who is lying on the chair side of his desk. Bobe can't see Hatchet and Hatchet can't see Bobe's face. Hollis throws his hatchet that is sitting next to him in a butcher's block. It hits Bobe in the back. Bobe spins round firing wildly and lodges a bullet in Hollis's stomach. It is then clear to them both that this has all been a terrible mistake.

**Bobe: **What are you doing here?

**Hatchet Hollis:** What are you doing here?

Then both collapse into dead lumps on the floor.


	11. End? Or Beginning?

**Outside Hatchet Hollis's Office **11/6/2000 12:01

**Sam: **You and me.

**Chantry: **What do you mean, me?

**Sam: **Well you got the guns.

**Chantry: **SHIT!

They stand outside Hatchet's door and are just about to ring it when Sam notices it's open.

**Hatchet Hollis's Office **11/6/2000 12:07

**Chantry: **Oh Jesus, not again.

The two pause while they build their confidence. They enter Hatchet Harry's room. It's still smoky. There on the table is the money.

**Chantry: **That's it, I am off.

Sam tiptoes over to the bag containing the money.

**Sam:**This is our case.

**Chantry:** What?

**Sam: **This is our money!

**Chantry: **Ok now I think we should go.

Sam sees the guns. His eyes widen in surprise.

**Sam: **I'll meet you in the car. I am taking these guns.

**Chantry: **Don't mess around, let's go.

**Sam: **I'll meet you in the car.

**Chantry: **Sam?

**Sam: **I'll only be a minute.

**Jack's car **11/6/2000 12:15

**Jack: **(getting in his car)A job well Done (he puts the key in the ignition).

**Karl:** Made a few dollars, did ya? Now where is it?

Jack can't see Karl but we can see the sharp side of a knife resting along the front of Jack's throat. The Karl is Lying down in the back. Jack assesses the situation.

**Jack: **You all right back there?

**Karl: **Very fucking funny. Where's what I want?

**Jack: **It's in an office; I have just left it in the office.

**Karl: **Well, you had better go and get it from the office. That's if you want to reach Your next birthday. Now chop-fuckin'-chop.

**Jack: **All right.

Jack doesn't seem too bothered by this problem. He shrugs and starts the car.

**Karl: **What are you doing?

**Jack: **Well, it's a five minute walk or a thirty second drive.

**Karl: **You had better be careful.

Jack starts his car up, makes sure that he has got his seatbelt on and pulls out on to the road. He gets faster and faster until Karl pokes him in the shoulder with his knife. Jack pulls hard to the left and rams into the nearest parked vehicle. **BANG!**

Karl goes flying forward, hitting the windscreen.

**Paul's Car Outside Hatchet Hollis's Office **11/6/2000 12:15

**Paul: **Well, what's going on?

**Chantry: **I don't know, but what I do know is that there's no more Hollis, which means there's no more debt, and if there's no more debt there's no more problem, and there's no more problem with our neighbours because they are all dead. I think, if I get this right, we haven't done anything wrong anyway, which means we are in the cle-**BANG!**

Jack's car hits them straight in the rear. The bag of cash goes flying through the car, landing on the dash. The Paul and Chantry are knocked unconscious. Jack having removed the knife from a stunned Karl, proceeds to smash his head against the dash and has the most amount of fun in doing so.

**Jack: **Never, never, not as long as I can remember has anybody been as rude to me as you have. Karl is being thrown around like a rag doll.

**A P****olice Interrogation Room **12/6/2000 9:32

**Lieutenant Gary ****Kane: **Don't think I wouldn't like to get rid of you but before I do, I need to know what's going on, Mr. Simmons

**Paul: **If you think you're in the dark, I am in a black hole.

**On The Other Side Of The Two-way Mirror** 12/6/2000 9:33

The Traffic Cop standing with a Policeman. There is a long pause far consideration. Eventually he shakes his head.

**Traffic Cop: **No, that's not one of them.

The Policeman then knocks on the door.

**Police Interrogation Room **12/6/2000 9:34

Then Kane looks round to see the Policeman. They exit and Paul is left on his own. After a short pause the door bursts open.

**Lieutenant ****Kane: **All right sir, you're outta here!

**Hayden's strip club **12/6/2000 22:52

Paul and Chantry are sitting in the bar. Paul is talking to Chantry who is interested in whatever he has to say.

**Paul: **The Traffic Cop went to the morgue and recognized your neighbours so that put us sort of in the clear. They got no case against us because there is no evidence against us... well apart from those shotguns. But Sam must have got them because the Cops didn't seem to know about them.

Chantry looks embarrassed about something.

**Chantry: **I wanted to talk to you about that.

**Paul: **Well, talk.

**Chantry: **Well not exactly no I got 'em sitting in the car.

**Paul: **How the fuck did you get them?

**Chantry: **I don't know how they got there.

**Paul: **Well Sam must have put them there**.**

**Chantry: **They had this note "Sorry about your club house"

**Paul: **Just get rid of them!

**Chantry: **Actually I thought we might sell them back to Jim the Jew, but I am having a bit of a problem getting hold of him.

**Paul: **The only items that connects us with the crime is sitting in your car which is sitting outside?

**Chantry:**I paid seven hundred for those guns. They could hardly trace them... could they?

**Paul:** Go and throw those guns off a bridge. And, throw yourself off while you're at it.

Jack walks in. He approaches the bar.

**Hayden: **Jack...You come to collect something, Jack? Should I have something for you?

**Jack: **Nope.

**Hayden: **Can I help?

**Jack: **I think I can help you.

**Hayden: **Yes?

**Jack: **I have got something for you. Well, for your cousin's, guys actually.

**Hayden: **Well, I suggest you speak to them, then.

They Both look rather shocked. He is carrying their bag and he places it on the table, which increases the shock factor.

**Jack: **It seems that Hatchet under-estimated your lot and that seems to have cost him. ...I am not going to make the same mistake, am I? I have decided to bring your bag back. ...The words you are looking for start with thank you.

**Paul: **Thank you.

**Jack: **Now you have presented me with a problem. I don't have an employer any more. So I have started working for your boss now. And if you think that is unfair you just come and pay me a little visit but you better be waving the white flag high and clear, otherwise it will be the last little visit you lot ever make. ...That's all I had to say. It's been ….emotional.

Jack turns to the Bar and orders a drink. Paul and Chantry stare at the bag and then at each other. Chantry goes forward to open the case. The rest are still in shock. Chantry opens the bag.

**Chantry: **There's nothing in it!

**Paul: **What do you mean?

**Chantry: **I mean it's fucking empty.

Paul lunges forward and stares in. He sticks his hand in and extracts an A4 envelope. he looks puzzled. Paul feels the package and starts to tear the top off. Paul extracts a Sotherby's brochure on shotguns. he still looks confused. he turns the brochure upside down and recognize the shotguns. Slowly he starts to turn the pages. Paul sees the price of the guns!

**Paul: **$250,000 EACH!

**Chantry: **And I paid $700 for then not bad when you think about

**Paul: **Don't you get it we can sell them on and make $250,000 for each one finally I can buy the right equipment to make some Real Bombs ha-ha BIG ONES

**Chantry:** Errrr... no we can't.

**Paul: **What! Why?

Chantry go's outside and open his car boot. He looks at the guns with regret and give them one last polish then comes back inside. And now everyone can see that he has in fact turned them into Shawn off shotguns

**Paul: **(Crying) OH WHY GOD WHY!

**Chantry: **(Looking to Jack) Wait a minute what Boss?

**The Phantom: **(Standing in the doorway) ME!

THE END.

* * *

OR JUST THE BEGINNING?


End file.
